So recently...quite of few people have decided to enscript images of choice on their bodies...At first I thought, 'wow that's so stupid what if they change their mind?' THEN, I had an epiphany and thought to myself, 'hey, actually that looks pretty sick,'. Okay, that last part was a lie, I was actually at my house chilling, minding my own business, really enjoying life very much when there was a knock on my door!
*Knock, knock, knock*
"Are you a pedophile?" I asked from my place on the couch.
"No." The mysterious voice answered.
"Are you a serial killer?" I inquired yet again.
"Maybe."
"Are you a sociopath?"
"I don't think so?"
"Escaped convict?"
"Possibly."
"Come on in, Mr. Brumley!" I yelled excitedly from my spot on the couch. Austin let himself in and he had on this very strange shirt. It was black with a gray logo on it. In grey loopy letter it said Tom's Tattoos.
"Holy shit, mark the date, did Austin Brumley get, *GASP* A JOB?!" I screamed putting my hands to my cheeks in a Home Alone fashion.
He rolled his eyes. (What an immature diva.) "Yes, Angela, I Austin Brumley got a job. Don't fall over from shock," he replied flopping down next to me on the couch putting his feet up on the coffee table.
Tim chose that moment to walk in, "Brumley, feet off. Now," he chose to swiftly take his feet off of the table- a wise decision on his part.
"So when did you get this.....job that you speak of?" I asked raising my eye brows. He glared at me.
"A week ago, precisely," he answered waiting until Tim went around the corner before putting his feet back up on the table. "The owner-dude actually doesn't like me very much, he thinks I'm...wild, can you believe it?" He said waving his hands around for affect.
"I don't know what would make him ever say that!" I replied my voice dripping with sarcasm.
"He thinks I'm inexperienced...so, I was wondering if I could give you a tattoo. Ya know, to practice?" He looked at me with hopeful eyes and only then did I realize he was serious. At first I laughed. A lot. I laughed until there were tears coming down my face. I laughed until Curly came in to make sure I wasn't losing it. I laughed until Austin starting giving me dirty looks, only then did I stop.
"Oh my God, you were serious." I practically whispered my mouth hanging open.
"Um, yeah!" He yelled glaring at me.
"And why the hell should I ever trust you with a fucking NEEDLE?!?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He covered my mouth and licked his hand so he would uncover it.
"Shut up, someone will hear and then I'll get thrown out!" Yeah...can't imagine why he'd get thrown out. :P
"Okay. Two questions. One; do you have a license, and two is this illegal? Because ya know you Brumleys tend to enjoy rebelling and fighting the system quite a bit," I said trailing off.
"No, it's not illegal. Well, at least I don't think so. And two, I will receive my license as soon as Tom sees that I can do an acceptable job inking up a customer's skin."
"Ugh, I'm so gonna regret this..." I groaned getting up and looking for my jacket.
"NO WAY! THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT." He screamed hugging me.
Along the way we kidnapped Jamie (which I admit wasn't my most brilliant plan, but on with the story!) We dragged her out of her depressing casa and Austin dragged her kicking and screaming down the stairs. It was an excellent experience to actually see her express some emotion other than sadness. She'll be grateful for this later. So we drove, and Jamie complained about how Austin was going to stab me in some super important artery and how I was going to go into cardiac arrest and die a long, slow, terrible death but we just blasted music over her high pitched voice. It was nice.
So we arrived and I ran into the place before I lost my nerve. Austin talked to Tom and I kinda zoned out for a bit because you know I was having second thoughts and a little bit on the bridge of a physcotic breakdown, but before I knew it I had picked out my tattoo and I was sitting on the black padded table.
"Angel, are you sure you want to go through this this?" Jamie asked, honestly her face was pale.
"Uh, sure, let's go Brumley. We're on the clock. Tim's gonna think you kidnapped me," I said.
"I don't know why he'd ever think that," Jamie practically spat. Austin just rolled his eyes like the diva he truly is and muttered, "chicks," to himself. So he turned on the little needle thingy and my eyes went very wide.
"Holy mother of balls," I whispered and he went to work on my shoulder. It stung like a mother fucker but I was not about to complain, I mean look at Cristy! She's like a walking painting and she probably didn't even complain so I chose to keep my mouth shut. Eventually Austin was done, my back was numb and Jamie was.......smiling? She was smiling? Was it a fixture of the light? Could it be?!?!?! DID IT LOOK GOOD?! I looked. HOLY SHIT IT LOOKED AMAZING! WHO KNEW THIS KID COULD DO GOOD TATTOOS!?
I suppose y'all are wondering, "what the hell did Angela get?" Well, Angela got the lyrics from her favorite song on her left shoulder blade and it looks pretty damn hot. Austin, I am proud to call you my friend. :D Ze photograph is below. Eventually Tom gave Austin his license and all that good shit and we dropped Jamie off but then Austin drove me home. I walked in and took off my jacket. Tim was in the kitchen drinking his beer and I didn't notice him, for I was too excited talking to Austin about my new body art! Tim spit out his beer and I swear I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. He got up from his chair walked right over and punched him square in the jaw and continued to beat the shit out of him.
Austin eventually started to fight back but Tim shoved him back down and told him if he did not leave this house right now he would never be able to have sex again, and that was a promise. He left right after that. After a lot of screaming Tim finally calmed the fuck down and left. He is probably mourning his sister's lost innocence. (That was sarcasm, people) But yes, I have a tattoo, I am now apart of the tattoo people club. :D
