In case of Emergency, Run like Hell!

So, a couple of days ago, I read Bob's post. Screw being cool it fricken creeped me out, not gonna lie. I felt totally useless just waiting who was about to be prayed on, and it happened to be poor Jelly, the sweetest girl ever. Her past that she tried to put behind her was recovered and I am terrified of what is going to happen next. My skeletons coming back to haunt me could be deadly and I don't want anyone I love have to witness that. Every where I go I carry four blades and still, I am paranoid. I have even begun to pray! That's how desperate this bitch has made me! That I have to ask god for help! Us Shepards aren't very religious to begin with but here I am at this random church sobbing in the back row begging God for forgivness and asking him to keep us all safe. It's getting rediculous how truely scared I am. I never leave my house without someone unless I absolutely have to. I am a very independant person and I try not to let things like this get to me but I don't even care anymore! I am not letting that son of a bitch lay a hand on me if I can help it. And if he messes with ANYYYYONEEE ELSE he'll get his ass beaten down so fast his head will spin. SO YOU WATCH OUT BOB FREAKIN' SHELDON!

The Party Don't Start 'Til I walk In..

So, Friday some rather fabulous people and I decided to ditch this boring town and go clubbing. So heading into town was Dally, Blair, Austin, Brook, Ponyboy, Bre, Carson, Jamie, Kyle and I. First we went out to eat at some random resturaunt that no one even remembers. But anyway we pulled up to the club and Dally handed out our fake I.D's. Heaven knows how he managed to get them but I wasn't about to be the kill-joy who asked so I went along with it anyway. We all did a prayer that we would make it through security and tried to act cool as we walked up the side walk. Blair easily got through with her easy-going attitude, Carson followed Blair's lead and charged through the line with confidence, Kyle walked through too, and Austin holding poor Brook who was shaking like a leaf, by some miracle got in. Bre whispered something in the guard's ear giggled and walked through. Pony and Jamie were petrified to go through so Dall and I pushed them next. They looked a little high cause they were shaking so much but the guard must have been partially blind and let them through. I was kind of nervous to go through but I tried not to show it. I got up and the card glanced at my I.D. and was about to let me through when of course the guard decided then to have his sight return to him. He asked me to step aside and I was ready to pass out when Dally shouted, "DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?!" The guard said, "Um, noo..?" "YOU IDIOT, IT'S KESHA, HOW CAN YOU NOT RECOGNIZE HER STUNNINGLY AMAZING LOOKS?!" "Yeah, right. And I'm Tom Cruise." "She can prove it, Dally said cockily." The guard replied, "Mhm, okay how?" Dally retorted, "If the party starts when she walks in, then you have to let her go, like in her song. But if it doesn't then you can throw us out." The guard shook his head and said whatever and let us through. Boy was that guy an idiot cause after he led us through we booked it through the crowd and quickly found the others. Blair singing kareoke to Livin' on a Prayer while Bre, Brook and Carson were dancing on a table nearby. Kyle and Austin were sitting drinking beers while Pony was requesting Britney to the d.j. Jamie was looking for us but quickly found us. Eventually we all got up and started dancing to Womanizer, I think Pony was gonna start crying he got so excited. The crowd started cheering for Ponyboy as he got up on the bar fist-pumping away with Carson. Brook and Austin left quietly doing god knows what. Blair and Kyle were dancing with each other while Jamie, Bre, Dally and I formed a circle and danced like there was no freaking tomorrow. At about three thirty in the morning Pony, Jamie, me and Brook helped drag everyone out of the club. We lugged them into a coffee house while Brook and Pony pulled the car up. Me and Jamie had our hands full trying to make the other six shut up. Eventually the manager came over to hit on us but we lied and I said was a persian princess who was going to be married in four days and Jamie said she was gay. He went alone soon after that and eventually after what felt like five years the car came and we dragged the passed-out gang into the car. Good timesss(:

Cleaning Out My Closet.

A couple years back when Curly was in the reformatory, I used to hang around with Tim and his friends. Not gonna lie, they were not my number one choice of people to chill with, but when you're thirteen you'll do what you can to fit in. Anyway, Tim's friends that were girls would always talk about how they wanted to go on diets and stuff to lose weight. Well considering we wern't the wealthiest people in the world I tried to lose weight the fastest way I could. I stopped eating. I began to change in size. I was so proud of myself because then I thought "they will defitnetly accept me now" but I was so wrong. My clothes hung off of me and I got constant migraines so I was always in a terrible mood. One day Tim and his friend Caroline (one of his friends who I was particularly close to) confronted me about my issue. I denied it at first but finally I gave up and broke down sobbing, they must've held me for at least an hour. It took a while to recover but I'm proud to say I have not starved myself in four years. (:

Thank God for Brothers.

So, today I discovered that being outgoing can have a dangerous side. I was just hanging out at the park with my friend Charlie who is a freshman and he has a little crush on me. But anyway we were just talking and all of a sudden a couple of well dressed kids who I assumed were from out of town walked up and started talking to us. They were a little drunk but I didn't mind much considering how my brothers are anyway. I was just talkin' about school and the town and stuff and me and this guy Dan started walking around, I left Charlie with two other guys and this other chick. But we got to the teeter totter and he tried to put his arm around me. At that point I knew the alchohal was getting to him and I was done with him. I just shrugged him off until he tried to hold me and kiss me. I screamed at the top of my lungs and hit him in the head so hard I hope he has brain damage. He was a pretty nice guy until the end I just think he was too drunk to realize what the hell he was doing. It's times like this I'm glad I have greasers for brothers.